Legacy

I write blog posts almost constantly in my mind.

The conversation that I have with you, Mom, is continuous, but you know this.

It's Mother's Day today. I should have spent it with you. You should have been at the park with us this morning, watching Emily gleefully taking her first ride on the swing, her pink dress flapping in the wind and her bow just the slightest bit crooked in her soft hair. You would have laughed as you watched Jack running all over the place, a spinning top. You've watched everything that's been happening in our family over the last couple of years, I'm certain, and I know that you must smile often. There have been many beautiful things that have taken place: Emily's birth, her baptism and dedication, the first time she sat on her own, even the first time she tasted peas and spit them out all over me and all over her hair; Jack running through the backyard, his high-pitched laugh pealing like the bells in the Catholic church on the other side of the hill--his love of books, his love of food! And Miles and Claire and Hazel...their little lives are so exuberant and rich already and they have only been here for a few years so far.

If you were here we would spend so much time laughing.

We moved Pap close by...he has an apartment at an assisted living facility. It was a long road and a tough one, but I drew strength from thinking of exactly how you would handle every step of the process. I hope you would be proud of me. I think you would like his place, and you would be happy because he is happy and safe and cared for.

It's hard to believe that Dad is married again. Victoria is sweet and caring and talented, but most importantly she cares about Dad and makes his happiness a priority. They take care of each other. She loves the kids, too, and makes an effort with them, which I know would be vitally important to you. I know that you want Dad to be happy and not to be alone. I love you for that.

You would love getting to know Alyson and Abby better. They are so adventurous and confident and independent. Alyson just got her Master's in Occupational Therapy, and Abby is in Asia now traveling around with her friends. I wonder how many places on your bucket list you got to visit. You and Dad always did a great job of exposing Grant and me to various experiences and gave us the opportunity to travel. That's not something I take lightly, and I continue to appreciate it.

John opened up the cottage as well as his property last week, trying to get it all ready for Memorial Day weekend visits. The tree Deborah and Grant planted in your memory is standing tall. I know your presence there, and I can't wait to spend time at the cottage and tell Emily all of the stories of our time there. She hasn't been to the cottage yet, but we will make up for lost time.

I could write all night, but there are things that I only want to say to you, and it is possible that there are people who still read this blog. We have many faithful friends, Mom, which is a testament to the way you and Dad loved the people around you and invested in them and really connected.

My heart is full when I think of you. I know that I am a better Mom because you were mine and a better person because of your example. There will never be anyone who will challenge your place in my life. I love you so very much...right up to the moon and back.