Welcome, Babies!

Finally I sit in the quiet of the evening, in the stillness of my candle-lit family room, listening intently to my son's breathing. Finally, I catch my breath and gather my thoughts, taking a moment to introduce you to Deb's newest grandchildren:

Hazel Mae McKinney
September 25th, 3:49 a.m.
7 lbs., 11.5 oz.
20.5 inches

Jack Matthew Michalak
September 26th, 5:32 a.m.
8 lbs., 4 oz.
21 inches

Although the cousins came into the world slightly differently--Hazel quickly, via natural childbirth, at the Midwife Center; Jack stubbornly, via c-section after 2 hours of pushing to no avail, at St. Clair Hospital--they were both celebrated and enjoyed meeting one another just a day after Jack's birth. Miles and Claire met their new cousin once he got home from the hospital. How my mom would have loved watching all four of her grandchildren snuggling on the living room chair.

Sometimes, it seems incomprehensible that I am now responsible for this little life, and I marvel at the gift that I have been given. It's as though everything I have learned, everywhere I have traveled, every relationship I have ever invested time in has been preparing me to be Jack's mom. The only thing missing is his Mica.

When she first died, the loss of Mom hit me the hardest at night. I would sit in the hallway for hours, sometimes, my back pressed up against my bedroom door, crying in the dark. Now, my cries are replaced by Jack's, and I pace that same hallway trying to figure out if he is hungry or wet or just wanting to be snuggled. Our favorite spot is in the corner of his nursery, rocking in the antique chair passed down from my Pap to my mom and then to me, much like the way knowledge about parenting is often handed down through the generations. Just above the chair hangs a picture of me as a 3-year-old, nestled in my mom's lap, a reminder that she is a constant part of me and, therefore, a part of Jack.

I already consider what stories I will tell Jack first about his Mica. I will mimic her laugh for him. I will take him somewhere to eat lemon meringue pie just because she loved it. I will read to him as much as possible. I will teach him to be strong and independent and gracious.

Jack and Hazel remind me each day that life is a precious gift, and that with every ending there is a new beginning waiting around the corner.