Deb's update

What a beautiful message Nadine shared from others who are struggling and looking to the Lord for their vision and strength.

The weekend I spent in Pittsburgh was indeed wonderful. Deborah, Miles, Claire and I cheered for Grant as the coach of the varsity boys' tennis team at Hampton HS. They won! I was able to attend class with Miles at the DePaul School for Hearing and Speech. Miles goes there two mornings a week and I loved meeting his teachers and 5 classmates. We are so thankful for the gift DePaul is in helping Miles.

Off to the South Hills and spending some time with Nadine. The home she and John bought is terrific. Lots of spacious rooms and a gorgeous piece of property in Upper St. Clair section of Pittsburgh. John is such a hard worker as he begins repairs on the house. Nadine would like it done and decorated yesterday. She is her mother's child. John was always kind to return to his house early to give Nadine and I special time together.

Grant and all arrived early Saturday morning and all of us were together for the next two days as we helped Nadine' friend Lori prepare for the shower. Deborah did a lovely job decorating tables and the room. I, of course, spent more of my time playing with Miles, who is fascinated with the water faucet on the new refrigerator, and Claire who smiles and laughs at everyone.
It was so very special to attend the shower and see friends. How thankful I am for their support and love.

Back home to reality and an appointment yesterday at HUP. I met with a Gastorenterologist who is recommending a sigmoidoscopy at the end of May. He doesn't want to do anything to upset the "apple cart" before the wedding. The doctor feels that a colon stent may be necessary. My stomach clenches each time we turn into the underground parking garage at HUP. I wonder what is next.

I pray the the Lord will be my vision today as I keep my eyes focused on Him. Thank you for caring enough to read this blog and your continued prayers and support.

Love,
Deb

Hello, friends. I have to apologize for letting so much time go by since my last post (or, more accurately, Mom's last post.) Most of my free time lately has been devoted to wedding planning and house organizing, and since this is Mom's blog I haven't felt like I should be giving a play-by-play of those happenings. This past weekend Mom was able to visit and celebrate with me at my wedding shower, and all I can say is that it was an indescribable blessing. Grant and Deborah and the kids were with us for most of the time as well. Mom and I got to sit and talk, shop for and decorate my new home, and celebrate God's gift of a fresh start for John and me.

Update on Mom's health:
Mom continues to exhibit such strength of character. She is working hard at eating and drinking regularly and gaining back some of the weight she lost. Although often fatigued and still struggling with pain, she puts all of that aside to support us and celebrate with us. We all recognize that each day is a gift. Please continue to pray for her as she is still taking a break from chemo, that she will be strengthened and remain in stable health so she can enjoy the wedding next month and upcoming vacation time with Dad.

I felt compelled to share a portion of someone else's blog, which I stumbled upon this morning while researching a church for a friend. I was so captivated by the faith of the writer, Larissa, and her fiance, Ian, who suffered traumatic brain injury four years ago and still faces a long road of rehab. I hope her words minister to you as much as they did to me.

Jun 30, 2009

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

I was reminded again tonight through this song of how lost we can feel in our trials, griefs, sadness, confusion. It so often becomes unclear of what we are supposed to do, how we are to respond. Many of us are in situations that we can't change so not only are we in situations that we don't necessarily desire, but we don't always know how to correctly respond to them either. I don't want Ian's life to be like this, and I don't always clearly know how we are to respond since he hasn't been healed yet. And then the rare times when I am thinking clearly, and do feel like I know how I should respond, I'm too tired to act on that truth anyway.

God gently reminded me and reminded Ian through this song that God is always our vision. Whether we are waking or sleeping, understanding or confused, thinking clearly or swallowed by sadness, he is our light. He will continue to be our vision- it's not dependent on us or our response. God promises to be with us, whether we feel that He is or not.

This life is very, very hard and many, many people are travelling the broken road as wearied and tired bodies. Ian's road has been much more broken than I could ever have imagined. This man that I love dearly is severely afflicted and there is nothing that I can do to fix it. I can't heal him but how I desperately wish I could. But we have to press on, and hold fast that God is our vision and that he somehow will strengthen us to finish this race well- whether we feel like we can or not- and we'll try to laugh along the way. He will be our vision leading us to heaven.

http://www.prayforian.com/

Chemo Holiday Continues....

We just returned from HUP and seeing my oncologist, so I told Nadine I would write on the blog. Earlier this week I had my blood drawn to check the cancer marker. Unfortunately the CEA count has risen from 126 to 706 which Dr. Teitelbaum says means that the cancer is active. However since my energy level and liver markers are so good, the doctor feels comfortable with me continuing on chemo holiday. She plans to do scans and markers again on May 28 after the wedding.
She urged me to relax and enjoy everyday. There are a variety of chemo drugs to try when it becomes necessary to manage the cancer in a more aggressive way.
We left the hospital today with a bouyant spirit being thankful for God's faithfulness.

PS. The doctor was not pleased that I lost 4 1/2 pounds. She said I need to put calories in my mouth every two hours to put some weight back on. When you see me or write, please remind me to eat. :-)

Your love, Oh Lord, reaches to the heavens.
Your faithfulness stretches to the skies.

And your righteousness is like the mighty mountains;
Your justice flows like the oceans tide.

And I will lift my voice to worship you, my King.
And I will find my strength in the shadow of your wings.

--lyrics by Third Day

I John 4:8-- "Where God's love is there is no fear, because God's perfect love drives out fear."

Prayer Request

Hello on a busy Monday...

As I type this I am finishing up at work and Mom is out with my cousin looking for a dress to wear to my wedding. I am getting choked up thinking about the beautiful gift her presence will be, not only at the ceremony but at my shower a couple of weeks from now. God is so good to allow us to spend this time together.

An aquaintance of mine e-mailed me the other day and shared some thoughts about her own personal struggle with watching her mom battle cancer. She said she constantly has to keep reminding herself: If I believe that God is in control and if I trust Him with my life then I can certainly trust Him with hers. I am choosing faith over fear today.

Tomorrow morning Mom will go in for a blood test to check her cancer markers. Please pray that the numbers will have stayed way down so that she can continue her "chemo holiday." She will not get the results until a few days later, but I will keep you posted.

This is my first attempt at uploading anything but pictures to this blog, so hopefully it works! I wanted you to see the adorable videos of Mom, Grant, and the kids playing in Florida. Such great memories. I added a couple of other pictures as well. I think it's important during times of challenge to focus on laughter and life and togetherness.

Last night in Florida

I can hardly believe that our Florida trip has come to an end. The first week with Nadine and John was relaxing and low key. So enjoyable. Well, week two was the total opposite. Miles and Claire keep the place hopping. Miles loves the pool and would have stayed in there inventing games all day. How I loved watching him and Claire discover the joys here--walks, trolley rides, boat rides out to the beach island, alligators in the lakes, and swimming in the waterfalls. I even floated around the lazy river with Miles on my lap. I have basked in the quantity of time I could spend with them and Grant and Deborah.

I have always hated goodbyes--even more so now. Cancer leaves you wondering what happens next. So I don't know what the future holds but how thankful I am as we celebrate Easter, that I, and all of you, have hope in Christ.

Thank you for your support and love and for taking this journey with me.
Deb