Dear friends, I wish I could write without such a heavy heart, but unfortunately the oncologist did not have an abundance of good news to share with Mom and Dad today.
First of all, Mom and Dad asked her about the swelling in Mom's legs and abdomen. We were hoping that perhaps the oncologist might suggest a new medication to diminish the amount of excess fluid in her body. The response was that there is nothing that can really help, and the oncologist actually elected to take Mom off the diuretics altogether. Draining the fluid is not an option, either, because it is not contained in any one particular area. The "doctor lingo" to explain this condition is that Mom has "low albumin levels," which I googled and also talked to several nurses about this afternoon. Basically I think it means that her body cannot properly distribute fluids because of this condition, which is caused by the liver and kidneys failing to function at 100%. One other point to make it that the diuretics she was taking are causing other areas of her body to dry up instead of drying up her legs and abdomen, which may explain in part why her energy level is so low and why she has trouble talking for long periods of time.
Mom and Dad chose to ask a dreaded question: What does all of this mean for length of life? The doctor's answer was that it will be a matter of weeks. She advised that Mom no longer travel and instead Grant and I and our families make the trip across the state as often as we can. My hope is that God will give us as much time with Mom as possible. We are planning a trip in conjunction with my cousin Brendan's wedding to Ocean City, NJ, the first week in August. Please join us in praying that we will all have the chance to be together on the beach. And please pray for Mom's pain levels and for peace for her and for my dad.
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I have been praying all day and looking at the phone thinking it might ring....My computer is down so I had Evan hook me up...My heart is also heavy and trying to process all of this. I will continue to pray for strength, peace and energy. ILY much. Dorothy
ReplyDeleteDear Deb,Will,and family,
ReplyDeleteI have struggled to post a comment over these last months, but so appreciate everyone's willingness to share that I have decided to try to put something here for all to read.
First let me say that ALL of you have been on our hearts and in our prayers and thoughts every day, often many times a day. Having walked this road with my dad just 18 months ago much is painfully familiar and I often read with tears streaming down my face.
Still, there is much to treasure in these moments. I was always so gratefully that knowing what the immediate future would bring, we treasured each and every moment we were given. I see that all of you have done that as well. Deb, as I read and hear about your amazing determination to live each moment the LORD has given you, I can't help thinking that there must be times when you do much for those around you at cost to yourself. What an amazing gift you give as a wife and a mom and a grandmom. How special, that the images we have of you on this blog is of a beautiful glowing loving woman.
Our LORD never promises us a carefree life. What He promises is that He is sufficient, that His peace and His love and His comfort passes understanding. And He gives us the gift of Eternity.
May you feel His loving arms around you as we lift you into the light and love of His presence in our prayers so many times each day. Much Love, Joanie and David
Dear Deb, Will and Family,
ReplyDeleteI am saddened by the news from the oncologist. Deb is never far from my thoughts. I will be praying that God give all of you strength during these difficult days. Much love, Karen Gaffney
Dear Deb, I read with great saddness the latest blog. I pray for you and your family always and will continue to pray for God's peace to wash over you and that He will comfort you, Will, Nadine, Grant and family.
ReplyDeleteDear Deb:
ReplyDeleteI am so sad. If what the doctor says comes to pass, we who remain will be diminshed so greatly. I, for one, will lose a great friend - one who was honest enough to tell me when I was an ass, but who was deep enough to understand another soul. Thank you so much for your wonderful friendship and company.
On a happier note, you have run your race extraordinarily well and the Lord will be well pleased with you. From your family, to your teaching, to your friends, to how you handled the difficulties at Church, you have conducted yourself with courage. You have held your ground well. You are so much better a woman than Elizabeth Edwards. Honestly, how you could admire her when you are the greater soul?
My race is nearing completion in many ways too. My kids are nearly grown and self-sufficient. I am an irrelevancy in the Court system and about to become an old irrelevancy. Yet, I have an intuition that He desires one more thing of me -perhaps, relating to the law. It is His law, after all. When my task is done, whatever it is, I shall look forward to telling you about it and hearing what you think - just as always.
Jay
Dear Deb,
ReplyDeleteMy heart is oh so heavy.
My friend of 40 years
Has been told that she has weeks to live --
My eyes are filled with tears.
Our Savior is sufficient.
John 11:25 is true.
Though I believe, I still do grieve --
We want more years for you.
Michael & I recently went to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert in North Carolina -- one of the warm-up groups was Superchick. We weren't familiar with these singers, but they were excellent. As always, my Deb antennae were up, especially when Superchick sang this chorus from "We Live."
We live
We love
We forgive and never give up
'Cause the days we are given are gifts from above
And today we remember to live and to love.
Deb, I know you've always enjoyed walking with your fellow church members in the 4th of July parade. I hope you can still participate in some way in that.
Nadine, thank you for posting this difficult news.
With love & prayers,
B.J.
Deb - one more thing:
ReplyDeleteI wrote Anna a letter today. She is at camp. I want you to know the part pertaining to you:
"I am more reflective than usual because today is a Sunday and we’re getting ready for Church. But also, Deb is now very sick and her blog reported that her doctor gives her a matter of weeks before she dies. It’s entirely possible she will no longer be with us when you return. This is a very fine woman. I’ve written her a farewell note. It is sad and I will miss her. But in another sense, her life has been a great triumph. The authors of our Declaration of Independence had a very different idea of happiness than we presently do. They understood happiness as the ancient Greeks did: happiness is the moral quality of a life well lived. Deb’s life has the moral quality of a life well lived. Her life will be found very pleasing by God. You knew her, so you know what that looks like. Your mother has that same quality. Let these thoughts and impressions guide you … so that you may know true happiness."
Jay
Deb,
ReplyDeleteYou are and always will be a special friend to me. I have always admired your character, integrity, and faith in God.
For those of us who have gotten a chance to know you over the years, it was truly a blessing.
As I have told you before, you are one of the most elegant, intelligent, and sensitive/caring person I have ever worked with or known.
Your journey is just beginning.... No goodbyes, just "see ya later."
Peace always,
- Core
The Chapmans are praying for you all. Much love, grace and peace to you. A beautiful family you are, inside and out. I love the photos, they really capture the joy, and peace and love. Thank you for pointing every visitor to Jesus, with every posting. Love, Laurel
ReplyDelete