Hello Everyone,
Will and I just returned from my appointment with my oncologist at Penn. She is such a lovely woman with much knowledge and compassion.For me, chemotherapy cannot help to make me a surgical candidate (too many tumors in the liver and lungs and too large a tumor in the colon), it cannot cure the disease nor can it lead to remission.
Therefore I have decided to not have any more treatments for the cancer. I will continue to have a relationship with my oncologist and see her periodically for blood tests, but for primary medical treatment I will be under the care of Penn Wissahickon Hospice starting tomorrow.
Will, Nadine and John and Grant and Deborah are all supportive and loving, knowing how much prayer went into this decision. For me chemo may prolong death, but it won't extend life. I've always wanted to have quality of life over quantity.
Of course we don't know how long life will last. Only the Lord knows that answer. So I will be pleased and thankful for you to continue taking this journey with me. Love, Deb
From Will - Reading "how long life will last" makes me very sad. Is this the beginning of the end? Not really - The apostle Paul's words in his second letter to Corinth give us hope. "We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." We do appreciate your support....Will
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
What a wonderful time we all had......
We are home, very tired, but with smiles bursting forth. Nadine and John are on their honeymoon and finally relaxing after months of preparation in house selling, buying, moving, closings, wedding prep and the normal routines of life.
The weekend offered special times with my dad, my grandchildren, family members and many friends. The ceremony and reception were lovely and Claire's baptism was very meaningful.
The pain medications helped me and taking some naps got me through the days. Will and I visited Miles' school and were so impressed with all the speech and hearing help they provide for the students there.
Special moments were walking Nadine down the aisle, dancing with John who promised me he would always cherish Nadine and care for her, having Miles run down the walkway yelling "Mica" and jumping into my arms, listening to Grant who memorized and personalized the scripture passage during the ceremony, and hugging my newly married daughter. How very thankful I was to be there.
On Thursday we will meet with the oncologist. Please pray for wisdom in decisions we make as to next steps.
Thank you for your continual support. I'm sure Nadine will post some wedding photos on the blog.
Love,
Deb
The weekend offered special times with my dad, my grandchildren, family members and many friends. The ceremony and reception were lovely and Claire's baptism was very meaningful.
The pain medications helped me and taking some naps got me through the days. Will and I visited Miles' school and were so impressed with all the speech and hearing help they provide for the students there.
Special moments were walking Nadine down the aisle, dancing with John who promised me he would always cherish Nadine and care for her, having Miles run down the walkway yelling "Mica" and jumping into my arms, listening to Grant who memorized and personalized the scripture passage during the ceremony, and hugging my newly married daughter. How very thankful I was to be there.
On Thursday we will meet with the oncologist. Please pray for wisdom in decisions we make as to next steps.
Thank you for your continual support. I'm sure Nadine will post some wedding photos on the blog.
Love,
Deb
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Wedding weekend
Hello all,
Will and I are packing, getting ready to leave for Pittsburgh tomorrow and all the wedding festivities. How excited we are to share in the joy of Nadine and John. We also will be with Grant and Deborah on Sunday morning as our granddaughter, Claire, is baptised with Will participating.
In the fall of 2009, several doctors urged me to suggest that Nadine and John move up their wedding date in case I wouldn't be here to join them. I did not do that, trusting that the Lord would answer our prayers.
All of your prayers have made this possible. The Lord is indeed gracious and kind.
Please pray for us all this weekend and that my energy will be strong as I join in this celebration.
Love,
Deb
Will and I are packing, getting ready to leave for Pittsburgh tomorrow and all the wedding festivities. How excited we are to share in the joy of Nadine and John. We also will be with Grant and Deborah on Sunday morning as our granddaughter, Claire, is baptised with Will participating.
In the fall of 2009, several doctors urged me to suggest that Nadine and John move up their wedding date in case I wouldn't be here to join them. I did not do that, trusting that the Lord would answer our prayers.
All of your prayers have made this possible. The Lord is indeed gracious and kind.
Please pray for us all this weekend and that my energy will be strong as I join in this celebration.
Love,
Deb
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Although Mom was able to attend support group today and felt very uplifted there, she had a difficult meeting with the oncologist. Her CEA numbers continue to climb, and the doctor shared that the latest scans reveal disheartening news: the tumors in her colon and liver continue to grow. The oncologist feels that it is imperative she begin chemo treatments of some kind as soon as possible and discussed various options with Mom and Dad. No decisions were reached. Mom also was given fluids to treat some dehydration issues she has had in the last day or so. Everyone's short-term goal is to make sure that Mom is strong and healthy enough to leave-a week from today!-for my wedding.
Monday, May 10, 2010
The procedure to insert stents into Mom's colon went well!
She is resting at home and plans to meet with the oncologist on Wednesday to determine next steps as far as further treatment is concerned, though it is unlikely that she will start a new treatment regimine before mid-June. When I talked to her earlier she said that her pain levels have decreased already, another bonus of having this procedure done today.
Praise God for his sustaining love.
She is resting at home and plans to meet with the oncologist on Wednesday to determine next steps as far as further treatment is concerned, though it is unlikely that she will start a new treatment regimine before mid-June. When I talked to her earlier she said that her pain levels have decreased already, another bonus of having this procedure done today.
Praise God for his sustaining love.
Dr. Ginsberg Stent Report - Successful
The endoscope was passed with ease through the anus under direct visualization and advanced to the transverse colon. Tumor was visualized at the 15 cm obstructing completely the lumen. Fluoroscopy confirmed short 1-2 cm stricture at the tumor site with the colonic dilation above. The Savary guidewire was passed through the small orifice under the fluoroscopic guidance. The initial attempt to place under floroscopic guidance Ultraflex Precision stent was not successful due to distal migation of the stent. The stent was removed with forceps. The guidewire was passed through the small orifice under fluroscopic guidance. The adequate position was confirmed with fluoroscopy. The 20x60mm Wallstent was successfully deployed. recommend low residual diet, no uncooked fruits and vegetables, encourage nutritional supplements, continue miralax at the dose of 17 grams.
The doctor told me it was a beautiful sight when everything came gushing out. (I guess you have to be into that kind of thing) Anyway, praise God....the blockage is opened and Deb will now just have pain from the cancer....and not from having to poop. She is pooped - however - I think she is just emotionally exhausted about worrying - what would happen if this didn't work. Of course that would have meant surgery; so we are so thankful that the second time was a charm. Thanks for your prayers, will
Sunday, May 9, 2010
and also Mother's Day from Nadine...
I spent much of the day thinking. I sat in church, letting the music wash over me, trying to forgive myself for being so far away from my Mom today. I rode around with John as we frantically tried to accomplish many errands, still thinking. And as I stared blankly at my newly stocked kitchen cabinets a few minutes ago, trying to think of something to make for dinner, I continued to think. I thought about my Mom and everything that she's taught me over the years. Sometimes I welcomed the lessons; other times I'm sure I resisted, but all of those "teachable moments" will be forever etched in my memory.
Here is just a sampling of the lessons I recalled today:
1. Family matters.
2. People should stand up for what they believe in.
3. Baking is an exact science (which is why my mom doesn't do it). Cooking leaves more room for interpretation (which is why she's a fantastic cook).
4. We are usually stronger than we realize.
5. When decorating, arrange items in odd-numbered groupings rather than even ones.
6. No one is ever too old to cuddle in bed with his or her parents.
7. Cultural literacy is an important part of education.
8. There is nothing like a good book.
9. For every new item you bring into your home, get rid of something.
10. Confidence gets a person far in life.
11. White shoes are not okay after Labor Day. And linen should not be worn until May.
12. Coffee mugs and tea mugs should never be mixed up or else your tea will taste like coffee.
13. Love never fails (okay, she borrowed it from First Corinthians, but she taught me this one by example).
Tomorrow Mom goes in for a procedure, which she already explained in her post. I believe with all my heart that she will walk out of the hospital tomorrow with renewed hope and a strong spirit and increased energy and decreased pain. I believe that in 13 days she will be here in Pittsburgh, along with Dad, to walk me down the aisle. I believe this because I walk by faith and with confidence, because that is what my mom taught me to do. Thank you all for encouraging her with this truth as well. That's what friends are for--to remind us of the important lessons when life is hard and our mind forgets.
Happy Mother's Day to every mom who is reading this. And to my mom, thank you for giving me life and for sustaining me physically and emotionally through every twist and turn. May God hold you close to him tonight. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Here is just a sampling of the lessons I recalled today:
1. Family matters.
2. People should stand up for what they believe in.
3. Baking is an exact science (which is why my mom doesn't do it). Cooking leaves more room for interpretation (which is why she's a fantastic cook).
4. We are usually stronger than we realize.
5. When decorating, arrange items in odd-numbered groupings rather than even ones.
6. No one is ever too old to cuddle in bed with his or her parents.
7. Cultural literacy is an important part of education.
8. There is nothing like a good book.
9. For every new item you bring into your home, get rid of something.
10. Confidence gets a person far in life.
11. White shoes are not okay after Labor Day. And linen should not be worn until May.
12. Coffee mugs and tea mugs should never be mixed up or else your tea will taste like coffee.
13. Love never fails (okay, she borrowed it from First Corinthians, but she taught me this one by example).
Tomorrow Mom goes in for a procedure, which she already explained in her post. I believe with all my heart that she will walk out of the hospital tomorrow with renewed hope and a strong spirit and increased energy and decreased pain. I believe that in 13 days she will be here in Pittsburgh, along with Dad, to walk me down the aisle. I believe this because I walk by faith and with confidence, because that is what my mom taught me to do. Thank you all for encouraging her with this truth as well. That's what friends are for--to remind us of the important lessons when life is hard and our mind forgets.
Happy Mother's Day to every mom who is reading this. And to my mom, thank you for giving me life and for sustaining me physically and emotionally through every twist and turn. May God hold you close to him tonight. May the Lord bless you and keep you.
Mothers' Day from Deb
Today we had a beautiful worship service at Leverington. Will's sermon and the music and celebrating communion were all very meaningful for me.
The last several days I have been feeling sorry for myself. The pain has been unrelenting and the protocol the GI team has me on to prevent blockage has been demanding on my body. Friends have called and stopped by--yet I have not been very hospitable.
My spirits are down as I await the stent procedure tomorrow. I have hope that it will ease the pain and the constant obsession I have with elimination and blockage issues. But we don't know what the doctor will encounter once he goes into the colon.
My children have called and I know so many people are praying. Thank you for surrounding me with so much love. Tomorrow we will put in the Lord's hand.
Love,
Deb
The last several days I have been feeling sorry for myself. The pain has been unrelenting and the protocol the GI team has me on to prevent blockage has been demanding on my body. Friends have called and stopped by--yet I have not been very hospitable.
My spirits are down as I await the stent procedure tomorrow. I have hope that it will ease the pain and the constant obsession I have with elimination and blockage issues. But we don't know what the doctor will encounter once he goes into the colon.
My children have called and I know so many people are praying. Thank you for surrounding me with so much love. Tomorrow we will put in the Lord's hand.
Love,
Deb
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Deb is home
Hello Everyone,
Home never looked so welcoming as it did when we finally arrived home from the hospital at 5 pm today. The doctors tried many concoctions before I was able to find success in bypassing the blockage in the colon. I continue to deal with much cramping as all the various meds need to get out of my system. But I so wanted to come home instead of waiting in the hospital for Dr. Ginsberg to arrive home from New Orleans.
The stent insertion is scheduled for Monday, May 10 at 1 pm. This GI doctor is the expert in this procedure so I am trusting that this palliative measure is the way to go. The stent is a type of spring device that when inserted will serve to allow the colon, which is blocked by the tumor, to have a wider opening. While it certainly is not a cure, it will hopefully make day to day living easier on my body.
Will spoke with my oncologist today and she has some new ideas of treatment to deal with the liver tumors that would perhaps help in shrinking them. I have an appointment to meet with her on Wednesday, the 12th.
I can tell the difference in my energy level after having the two bags of blood transfused yesterday. My blood count went up and I can tell in the way I feel.
The hospital is not a fun place, but I had wonderful friends who visited and kept me laughing. I also improved in my texting skills as so many of you sent messages of love and support.
The doctors sent me home with a list of foods I am allowed to eat. Think of the most unhealthy diet and it is mine--white bread, rice, noodles, etc. and the funniest is the cereals I am allowed to have: fruit loops, honey grahams--anything with no fiber and I guess empty calories!
Right now I long for a shower since my port is de-accessed. I know it is an uphill journey ahead, but I am thankful not to be facing it alone.
May the Lord be with you all tonight. I look forward to an uniterrupted night's sleep.
Love,
Deb
Home never looked so welcoming as it did when we finally arrived home from the hospital at 5 pm today. The doctors tried many concoctions before I was able to find success in bypassing the blockage in the colon. I continue to deal with much cramping as all the various meds need to get out of my system. But I so wanted to come home instead of waiting in the hospital for Dr. Ginsberg to arrive home from New Orleans.
The stent insertion is scheduled for Monday, May 10 at 1 pm. This GI doctor is the expert in this procedure so I am trusting that this palliative measure is the way to go. The stent is a type of spring device that when inserted will serve to allow the colon, which is blocked by the tumor, to have a wider opening. While it certainly is not a cure, it will hopefully make day to day living easier on my body.
Will spoke with my oncologist today and she has some new ideas of treatment to deal with the liver tumors that would perhaps help in shrinking them. I have an appointment to meet with her on Wednesday, the 12th.
I can tell the difference in my energy level after having the two bags of blood transfused yesterday. My blood count went up and I can tell in the way I feel.
The hospital is not a fun place, but I had wonderful friends who visited and kept me laughing. I also improved in my texting skills as so many of you sent messages of love and support.
The doctors sent me home with a list of foods I am allowed to eat. Think of the most unhealthy diet and it is mine--white bread, rice, noodles, etc. and the funniest is the cereals I am allowed to have: fruit loops, honey grahams--anything with no fiber and I guess empty calories!
Right now I long for a shower since my port is de-accessed. I know it is an uphill journey ahead, but I am thankful not to be facing it alone.
May the Lord be with you all tonight. I look forward to an uniterrupted night's sleep.
Love,
Deb
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
This is Adina again...
This was a challenging day for Deb. The good news is that she did have some small success with beginning to clear her colon. She still has a ways to go, but this was encouraging. They gave her a 1/2 gallon container of Go Lightly to drink in the hopes that this will further help the process.
On the more challenging side, they took Deb's blood during the night and found that her blood count was low and scheduled her to have an infusion today. In addition, her blood pressure has been climbing. Her oncologist will be in to visit tomorrow and we hope that she will be able to further assist in the coordination of Deb's care. I hope to be there tomorrow when the doctor comes. It turns out that the GI doctor that Deb is waiting on will not be back at the hospital until Monday. At this point, Deb believes that she would rather remain in the hospital until then, but this will continue to remain an open decision based upon how her overall condition progresses.
Deb does have access to a computer on her floor and has been checking the blog so feel free to leave her messages. She is comforted by the wonderful communications she has been receiving. I will post more again tomorrow.
This was a challenging day for Deb. The good news is that she did have some small success with beginning to clear her colon. She still has a ways to go, but this was encouraging. They gave her a 1/2 gallon container of Go Lightly to drink in the hopes that this will further help the process.
On the more challenging side, they took Deb's blood during the night and found that her blood count was low and scheduled her to have an infusion today. In addition, her blood pressure has been climbing. Her oncologist will be in to visit tomorrow and we hope that she will be able to further assist in the coordination of Deb's care. I hope to be there tomorrow when the doctor comes. It turns out that the GI doctor that Deb is waiting on will not be back at the hospital until Monday. At this point, Deb believes that she would rather remain in the hospital until then, but this will continue to remain an open decision based upon how her overall condition progresses.
Deb does have access to a computer on her floor and has been checking the blog so feel free to leave her messages. She is comforted by the wonderful communications she has been receiving. I will post more again tomorrow.
Monday, May 3, 2010
This is Adina updating the blog on behalf of Deb, Will, Nadine and Grant.
Deb was admitted to the Hospital at the University of Pennsylvania on Saturday. The CT scan indicates that she has a partial blockage in her colon due to the fact that the tumor in her colon has grown again. She may also have some swelling and inflammation. The CT scan also indicates three new tumors on her liver.
Deb is currently ingesting a variety of forms of laxatives to help empty her colon which is currently impacted. So far, she is having little success. Her GI surgeon is in New Orleans until Thursday and we are awaiting his return so he can perform a non-invasive procedure to expand the opening in her colon and place a stint in there to keep it open. She is in varying amounts of pain and is getting regular pain medications to keep her as comfortable as possible. We must all pray that her body remains strong until the doctor arrives on Thursday and can perform the procedure on either Thursday or Friday.
Deb is not up for many visitors, though she is very grateful for all the kind prayers and well wishes that are coming her way. Since she rests at varying times during the day, it is safest to text before calling or to see if she is up for a visit. I will continue to post with updates.
Deb was admitted to the Hospital at the University of Pennsylvania on Saturday. The CT scan indicates that she has a partial blockage in her colon due to the fact that the tumor in her colon has grown again. She may also have some swelling and inflammation. The CT scan also indicates three new tumors on her liver.
Deb is currently ingesting a variety of forms of laxatives to help empty her colon which is currently impacted. So far, she is having little success. Her GI surgeon is in New Orleans until Thursday and we are awaiting his return so he can perform a non-invasive procedure to expand the opening in her colon and place a stint in there to keep it open. She is in varying amounts of pain and is getting regular pain medications to keep her as comfortable as possible. We must all pray that her body remains strong until the doctor arrives on Thursday and can perform the procedure on either Thursday or Friday.
Deb is not up for many visitors, though she is very grateful for all the kind prayers and well wishes that are coming her way. Since she rests at varying times during the day, it is safest to text before calling or to see if she is up for a visit. I will continue to post with updates.
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