My Weekend Visit

I was so happy to feel the plane's wheels touch down on the runway, both on Friday in Philadelphia and this evening in Pittsburgh. With all the nasty weather we've been having, I was worried that my flights would be delayed or canceled or at the very least I would be in for a bumpy ride. Thank you all for the prayers for traveling mercies.

It was so good to be with my mom and my dad, as always. Mom's energy level is definitely on the rise, although she continues to experience occasional nosebleeds and still has mouth sores as a result of the chemo drugs lingering in her body. Despite these challenges, we were able to enjoy a full weekend. On Saturday morning we ventured out to Pottery Barn and added vases and pillows and serving platters to my registry. It was fun to wander around and envision how all of the beautiful pieces will look in our new home (John and I just closed on our house this past Thursday) and, more importantly, to have my mom be a part of the planning. Mom, Dad, and I all had lunch out--Mom loved her hamburger!--and then Mom and I spent a chunk of the afternoon talking and putting finishing touches on my wedding invitations. We all watched the Olympics and played games and laughed together.

This morning we even made it to church and went out for brunch! I'm sure Mom is really tired and welcomed a nap after I left for the airport, but I am so thankful that she went out of her way to plan outings for us and push herself to continually gain strength.

It's hard to shut out reminders that Mom is only taking a "chemo holiday" and is by no means "better" or "in remission," but it is energizing for us all to see a hints of her old self emerge.

We continue to ask for your prayers that the tumors will be kept at bay and that her upcoming scan (set for later in March) will show no regrowth.

For now, I am thankful for this weekend and already look forward to more family time in Florida! 22 days and counting.

from Deb

Hello all,

I thank you for your continued prayers, support, and love I feel from you all.

We are thankful the chemo marker has come down from the original 17000+ number.
However a short explanantion because several people have commented that it is wonderful that I am in remission.
Please know that is not true. The oncologist would have encouraged me to continue right on with chemo, but my body just could not take another dose. Therefore we agreed on this chemo vacation.
A CAT scan will be done on March 15. The possibilities: the cancer is stagnet, the marker number continues to reduce even without chemo, or the cancer has become agressive and growing without me continuing on chemo. At that time I will need to make a decision about chemo for life.

Other than a miracle, there is no cure for me. I am not a surgical candidate so the tumors, no matter how much they shrink, cannot be removed.
We are just hoping and praying that the cancer does not grow while I'm on holiday from chemo and that we can find some palliative measures that would extend life and the quality of life.

Right now I am so enjoying gaining some energy back. I've gotten out a few times. The fatigue is not as drastic, nor is the nausea. How thankful I am for those good signs.

Snow is expected yet again in Philadelphia. I pray it doesn't interfer with Nadine's flight to visit us on Friday evening. I can't wait to spend time with her.

I send my love to you all,
Deb

Mom's new oncologist called her personally to tell her that her cancer markers are now at 117!

Shout with joy to the Lord, O earth!

Worship the Lord with gladness.

Come before Him, singing with joy.

Acknowledge that the Lord is God!

He made us, and we are His.

We are His people, the sheep of His pasture.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving;

go into His courts with praise.

Give thanks to Him and bless His name.

For the Lord is good.

His unfailing love continues forever,

and His faithfulness continues to each generation.

Psalm 100

Reasons to Smile

This is Adina, posting my first entry on Deb's blog. When Nadine wrote last, she shared the difficulty of being cooped up in the house because of the snow and not being able to meet the new oncologist. Today we did, and we left with many reasons to smile. First, Dr. Titlebaum reiterated how well Deb has responded to the chemo treatments. She indicated that often the most aggressive cancers respond best to chemo and if you are among the 50-60% of people who respond to the chemo, it can be quite dramatic. Deb is among this 50-60% and she has responded incredibly well. We looked at a graph of her CEA marker numbers - which peaked at 17,198 in October and came down to 162 as of late January. The doctor remarked at just how dramatic Deb's response has been. Way to go Deb!

After celebrating her great response to the treatment, the doctor explored Deb's options at this point. Some of the options included continuing with the chemo she has been getting or some modified treatments, but we all agreed that the best course for Deb at this point is a chemo holiday so she can regain her strength. During this holiday, she would restore a normal diet, including fruits and vegetables, she would build in some exercise to strengthen her body, and generally engage in whatever social and spiritual activities she finds personally restorative. Deb will be in regular e-mail contact with the doctor and her wonderful nurse practitioner, Lori, to share how she is doing and to discuss any questions that may arise during her holiday!

The best moment of the morning, however, was when the doctor told deb that she is "not looking at a dying woman." More and more, she explained, they have the resources to treat colon cancer as a chronic illness like diabetes or high blood pressure. They cannot cure it, but it can be managed, and given the fact that Deb is responding to treatment and that there are still many drugs out there to work with to build a balanced treatment plan, there are many options. There is really no telling how long Deb could live. This holiday will give us all a chance to see what the cancer does without the regular chemo treatments. If it spikes again in activity, this will tell us one thing , and if it remains stable or only grows slightly, this will tell us something else about her future treatment.

Overall, we are all smiling today and Deb is in the kitchen preparing a lunch that I believe she will enjoy more than she has enjoyed a meal in a long time. The ongoing support of her large army of friends continues to be really important for her. Now, hopefully, we can shift our energies to support her enjoyment of life and restorative health.

Hello from snowy Pittsburgh. This is Nadine again, just to clairfy because we've had several "guest contributors" lately. :-) It has been difficult for all of us who were affected by the recent snowstorms to maintain our routines (not to mention our sanity!) but I know that for Mom is has been especially trying because she is stuck at home and unable to meet with her new oncologist. Routines and a sense of accomplishment are important to Mom and keep her going. Fortunately, her friend Adina came over the other day and helped her to make a schedule for each long winter day. Activities include simple exercises to help keep up her strength, working on projects, mealtime, etc. With Mom having little or no appetite it's important for her to remind herself to eat and keep on track.

Please pray that nothing will bar Mom and Dad from making it to their appointment this Thursday.

A Valentine's weekend

Hello faithful readers. Deborah (not to be confused with Debra :) here. Grant, Miles, Claire and I arrived safely last night after a good trip across the state. Thankfully the roads were very clear for our journey. Miles was so excited to be on our way to Mica and Pop Pop's house that the last 30 minutes all we heard from the back seat was "Mica and Hop Hop? Mica? Hop Hop?" Needless to say, falling asleep was not easy.

You would all be happy to know that Deb has not lost a bit of her creative side, and amidst the many tiresome side effects of the chemo had planned a scavenger hunt through-out the house for Miles to complete this morning. For every heart or flower that he could find there was a Valentine's gift for either him or Claire. It didn't take him long to find the candy bowl either, which was not a part of the hunt.

Our weekend thus far has been comfortingly quiet. Soup, the Olympics opening ceremony, and a trip to Whole Foods have kept us nourished and occupied. Tonight Grant and I are making dinner after which I'm sure we will enjoy a warm fire. We are so very thankful for this family and our time together.

From Will

Kit Bassler from our church sent me this today. It is a couple years old...so maybe some of you have already read it; but it is worth a reread.

You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California .

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life?
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body -- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life, but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.
Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times, you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.
And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems, no pitty parties! If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is my problem, my issues, my pain. But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety, and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do: II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit... We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?
Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.
That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

Mom was able to re-schedule her appointment with the oncologist for next Thursday, February 18th, but she will not be getting chemo because there are no treatment rooms available. They will use the time during this meeting to come up with a plan for moving forward.

The snow continues to fall in Philadelphia, I'm told, and all of the major roads are shut down. Mom and Dad anticipate hearing that there are at least 2 feet of snow on the ground already in addition to what was already there from last weekend's storm. Needless to say, Mom won't be able to make her appointment with the oncologist in the morning, and support group was canceled today. She and Dad are trying to make the best of things, cleaning out drawers and closets and snuggling under blankets to watch movies.

Pray that the weather will clear up in time for Grant and Deborah's trip. Mom is definitely looking forward to a visit from her favorite valentines--Miles and Claire.

Stay warm and safe!

Hope this finds you all warm and freed from the mountains of snow in your driveways. I'm bracing myself to see what today's predicted storm will bring...

Although Mom still plans to meet with the new oncologist on Thursday, she has decided NOT to get her scheduled chemo treatment this week, thus giving her body additional time to recover from the last round as well as some cold symptoms she has been battling this week. Hopefully the weather will not be a detriment to this meeting and the oncologist will have some strategies to offer. Today Mom will venture out to go to her accupuncture appointment and tomorrow to her support group if they aren't snowed in again. Grant and Deborah plan to drive out with the kids this Friday to stay through the weekend.

Thank you so much for the prayerful posts, scripture verses, and e-mails we received over the last week. I wanted to update the blog earlier today but the internet has been down here in Pittsburgh following the snowstorm. I'm sure many of you who are reading this are snowed in as well. Inconvenient though it may be, it sure is beautiful. I felt peaceful as I gazed at the winter wonderland outside the window and was reminded of God's power. Though this season of life appears bleak at times and even though sometimes God seems far away, He has not abandoned us. In fact, I am convinced that he is upholding us from minute-to-minute. Even though I am stuck on the other side of the state, unable to visit Mom until later this month, we are blessed with a support system that can only be explained as God's gift. In our weakness His strength shines like the sun that illuminated the snow-covered tree limbs in John's backyard this afternoon.

It was good to hear Mom's voice today on the phone. After a few days of not getting out of bed and eating very little she was watching a movie downstairs with Dad and eating a burrito. Her mouth sores are improving as well.

This coming week will be full of important decisions as Mom meets with her new oncologist on the 11th and receives her final round of chemo in this set. Pray for wisdom and peace.

I feel so helpless as i write this. Mom is very discouraged. Despite a visit from a helpful social worker yesterday and support group this morning, she seems to be in an emotional slump. Please post some encouraging words because I am struggling to come up with any. On top of her mental and emotional struggles, Mom is plagued with mouth sores once again. God seems far away tonight.

Mom is having a rough day today, so I don't have many details to report because we only talked via text message this morning. She is having continued bouts of diarrhea and vomiting and is completely exhausted from the chemo. She did report that her new nurse from Caring Way came to the house today and was very kind and attentive, so that's a praise to report.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18--Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.