One round down, three to go. Mom made it through her treatment this morning and felt encouraged after talking with the surgeon, who makes a point of remaining optimistic. Mom and Dad are planning to spend a quiet evening at home tonight. We are choosing as a family to look toward 2010 with hope and anticipation of God's continued provision and care.

Happy New Year!

Tomorrow morning Mom will be getting another round of chemo. Please remember to pray for her.

PET Scan Results

The results of Mom's most recent scan confirm that there are 5 cancerous tumors in her lungs. Due to the fact that there are multiple tumors and that the overall size of the tumors in her liver, colon, and lungs is too large for surgery at this point, Mom's doctors advise that she undergo 4 more rounds of chemo with the hopes that the tumors will continue to shrink and surgery will be an option in mid-March. Once they determine if a springtime surgery is feasible, they will decide how to best keep the lung tumors at bay. Mom plans to meet with a thoracic surgeon sometime in the near future as well to get additional information.

This news is very hard to take and makes the coming year seem daunting. Please pray fervently for strength for Mom as she takes on more chemo beginning this Thursday morning (the 31st). Please also pray for wisdom for her, for my dad, and for the doctors as they take one step--and one day--at a time.

On a positive note: Mom and Dad booked a cruise to Rome in June and John and I continue to happily plan our May wedding and have begun our house hunt. Grant and Deborah are still at Mom and Dad's with the kids, who make everyone smile. We are choosing to keep hope alive and thank you for hoping along with us.

Christmas Day

Hello, everyone.

Hopefully you have had a blessed Christmas and are enjoying, as we are, family game time and a roaring fire along with laughter and delicious food. I admit that there were a few tears shed this morning (ok, more than a few from me) as we opened meaningful gifts and reflected together.

I remembered an e-mail that a friend from Leverington had sent me this past week and wanted to share part of it with you.

Lord Jesus, master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day. We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us. We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence. We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light. To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!" Henri J. M. Nouwen

May you feel God's presence with you tonight, tomorrow, and every day after that. Thank you for continuing to share in friendship and love with us.

From Deb

Hello Everyone,

We do not have the results of the PET scan. None of the doctors phoned. I'm going to assume they are short handed with the Christmas week here and that we won't hear results until next week. The unknown is frightening, but that's where trust comes in.

Tonight Nadine and John arrive, and tomorrow Grant and Deborah, along with Miles and Claire come. We are so very excited to have our family here. We plan to be thankful for our time together as we celebrate the birth of Christ.

God bless you all,
Deb

From Deb and Will

In the midst of what seems a surreal experience or a bad dream, we stop and pause as we watch people everywhere deal with suffering and pain, and pray for the Hope promised to us all.

Even as we await results from today's PET scan with some fear, we know that the Lord is the author of our lives and the He has already ordained our days on earth before we lived one. How thankful we are for Jesus, His birth, and His death and resurrection. Wiothout that we would know no mercy or grace.

How can we begin to thank all of you for your incredible gifts of love you have given to us? Our son Grant was here for the weekend and expressed amazement at the many lives his mom has touched and how friends are reciprocating with love in these tenuous days.

We are thankful for the food. Although Will can cook, it is such a blessing to have the time to sit and hold hands and not have to worry about preparing food. We feel overwhelmed with friends who come up with such creative ways to show love: planting bulbs, showing up to bake cookies so I have them for when all the "kids" arrive on Christmas Eve, gift cards to Whole Foods, Trader Joes, Barned and Noble, warm clothes to keep the cold away, matching Christmas mornng socks for Deb, Nadine and Deborah, inspirational paintings and music, and so much more.

We appreciate your prayers and word of support. We don't know what 2010 holds. Although the doctors are not optimistic, they are not God. I am thankful He is my fortress and strength. I will look to Him.

We know so many of you have gone through or are going through difficult times. We consider it a blessing for you to share those with us so we can pray for you also.

Our prayer in this most wondrous time of year is that you will fill your lives with the hope that Christ can bring, and you will grasp onto His assuring presence, just a we do.

Thank you all for your presence in our lives. We send much love and wish you all a very blessed Christmas with family and friends.
Deb and Will

Tomorrow at 8:30 Mom will get a PET scan to get a clearer picture of the scope of the cancer. Please pray.

More insight into Mom's condition:

My cousin Natalie went with Mom and Dad today to listen in as the doctor talked to Mom about the status of things. I thought her summary would be much more helpful than something I could write based on second-hand information, so the text of her e-mail is included below. I'm waiting for our miracle...

Thank you both again for inviting me to be a part of your appointment today. It wasn't easy, but it was really important to me that I could be there. I wanted to give you a run down of what I heard in the appointment today. I can't promise that I remember it all perfectly; you may have gotten a different perspective than I did, but there was a lot that was thrown at us and we were all very emotional, so I thought it might help to have it written down...

Overall, I think it is important to keep remembering that we have to be positive and optimistic; the chemo is working. We saw pictures of the liver masses before and after treatment, and they are both shrinking and getting much less dense. Dr. Sun mentioned that only 50% of cases respond to chemo, so this is a very good thing. Also, what we were feeling was negligence and a lack of communication on their behalf he wants us to realize is that they are all trying to make the best decision and that your case is very hard. They are only able to operate on 20-30% of tumors, but they try to give every case the best shot that they can have. If you just had a primary tumor with a few liver masses, they would do surgery with no concern. If you only had one lung mass, they would also do surgery, especially since ALL the masses are responding to the chemo and getting smaller. Since you have quite a few masses in your liver AND have a few masses in your lungs, they are very concerned that doing major surgery on your liver and giving you the chance to recover afterwards (with no other chemo treatments) would allow the remaining tumors in the liver and the lungs to grow even more, and that surgery like that would be a bad option, because if the surgery doesn't buy you some amount of quality time, then it's not worth doing. They are all on the fence right now as to the plan of action, so they have scheduled a PET scan to get a better sense of what your lungs look like (how many masses there are and in how many places) and how well they are responding to the chemo.

They also seem to want to do a few more rounds of chemo, because since it is working so well and they are on the fence about doing surgery, a few more rounds of this therapy will likely make all the tumors shrink more and give you a better chance at a successful surgery. Dr. Dreiben will touch base with you after the PET scan to share the result, but again, this may not tell us whether or not surgery is the plan, since they may need the few more rounds of chemo to actually decide. It may however tell us if surgery is out of the question, if there are too many masses in the lungs for them to feel like surgery is a viable option.Dr. Sun also talked a lot about the reality of your cancer. As we know, a cure is not an option. Although he said that eventually the cancer will win the war, as long as there are battles to fight, you can win them, and you have to fight.

He seems to think that regardless of whether or not you are able to have surgery, you will continue with chemo treatments. Although you feel terrible with the chemo treatments, he feels that you are doing much better than most people do and tolerating them well. If surgery is not an option, there can be discussions about changing the drugs so that you have more of a quality of life than you currently do, although he warns us that what we consider a quality of life may have to shift. Although he can't tell you how long you will be able to feel ok if you stop the chemo drugs or how much time you will buy while you are on them, he reminded us that even off of the drugs, how good you feel is not going to be how you used to feel, so it's unfair to use that as a baseline (I think that was what he was trying to say). He also advised against stopping chemo treatments, but seemed ok with taking one round off for the holidays. Since they are working, why stop? Also, your tumors will get resistant to the treatments at some point, so getting the most out of the time that you have with these drugs is best.

Please be in prayer for Mom tomorrow as she meets with her doctors. Especially pray that all of the questions she and Dad have brainstormed will come to their minds and they will receive concrete answers.

I didn't get a chance to post again before I left Philadelphia, but I wanted to share with all of you that Mom was able to attend church on Sunday to hear the Christmas Cantata. We sat in the balcony and were joined by my cousins. It was nice to be able to enjoy the beautiful music--and Dad's singing debut!--all together. She does seem to be somewhat stronger, which reinforces our opinion that this break she is taking from chemo is very much needed. Two of Mom's doctors called today and suggested that Mom come in for a consult on Thursday morning. They will discuss a plan for January...right now it seems like the doctors want her to have 4 more rounds of chemo, so we will see...

There is nothing like sitting in front of a roaring fire in the home where I grew up, catching a glimpse every so often of the twinking lights dancing on the Christmas tree in the next room. Mom, Dad, and I have been busy wrapping, baking, and decorating all day today. I took a mid-afternoon break while Mom rested and shopped over in Chestnut Hill (a very charming area filled with unique boutiques, for those of you not from Philadelphia) before having coffee with a high school friend. It's hard not to be infused with Christmas joy even in the midst of trying circumstances, but I know it's because I am spending time with some of the people I love the most, and because we anticipate the celebration of the greatest hope, a hope that inspires and refuels us emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

It's been a quiet week so far, and I haven't had many updates for all of you. Mom and Dad are continuing to live out the "new normal," with Mom working from home and visiting with friends when she can muster the energy. Dad has been busy with church activities and preparing for the Christmas concert this coming Sunday. I can't figure out where my week went...this time of year is such a whirlwind.

We did get word today from the liver doctor (I'm sure he has a formal title, but I'm not sure what it is) that he would like Mom to get 4 more rounds of chemo starting in January since her liver continues to respond. Right now Mom is just focusing on rebuilding her strength and isn't prepared to make decisions about chemo right now. The oncologist is supposed to weigh in tomorrow. We think that Mom's treatment team will order a PET scan early in January to ensure that they are targeting all areas of the body that house cancer.

I fly out tomorrow evening to spend the weekend wrapping and baking and talking and sitting and just being near Mom.

The results are in...

Well, friends, the news isn't great. Mom's scans show that while the tumors in her liver continue to shrink, the lung tumors aren't responding well to the chemo. Although all of Mom's doctors have not yet met to discuss the scans and make suggestions as to what steps to take next, Mom has decided that she is not going to get the next round of chemo scheduled for December 17th. Instead, she will take a break for Christmas and try to re-gain some of her strength while enjoying time with all of us, then re-assess in January.

There is still time for miracles to happen, so please pray earnestly that the lungs will somehow come on-board and the tumors will begin to respond. Another concern is that Mom is in a lot of pain and continuing to battle nausea and other effects of the cumulative chemo treatments.

In the meantime, we will not become hopeless but instead focus on the beauty and joy of the season, anticipating all the quality time we will spend together over the next several weeks.

I know that we have all appreciated the comments you have made both publicly on the blog and privately via e-mail or phone conversation. Please continue to send encouragement. I always welcome "guest contributors," so if you have a scripture verse to share, a funny story to tell, or a simple reflection please don't hesitate to type away. Thank you all for the outpouring of love you continue to offer.

Not much news to report today. The skies are overcast here in Pittsburgh and light snow is falling. I wonder how many others who are reading this are experiencing the first snowfall of the season. I wish I felt as peaceful as it looks outside.

Prayer for mom is more critical now than ever as we await the results of Friday's scans. We should know something more on Tuesday. For now, Mom and Dad are enjoying the company of friends and managing to unpack some Christmas decorations.

Isaiah 43: 1-3

But now, this is what the LORD says--
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned:
the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God,
the Hold One of Israel, your Savior."

I wish I had better news to report at the end of a very long day. Mom and Dad were at the hospital from 8 a.m. until nearly 8 p.m. They had to wait a long time for chemo and then to meet with the surgeon, who didn't deliver the news we had hoped. Instead of scheduling Mom's surgery, the doctors are having her come this Friday for a scan of her lungs. They feel they need to determine the condition of her lungs to make a determination about whether or not the colon and liver surgery would be advisable at this point. Mom will return to the hospital on Friday to have the chemo pack removed and to have the scan. This is a good time to pray for miracles.

On a positive note, my parents' long-time friend, Jane Hultman, arrived from Pittsburgh today and will be joined by her husband, Dick, on Friday. I hope this visit is meaningful and encouraging for them all.

As Mom prepares for a 5th round of chemo tomorrow at 9:30 a.m. and meets with the surgeon, please pray for the following requests:

1. Pray that the surgery will be scheduled as soon as possible and that Mom will be a candidate for both the colon and liver surgery at the same time.

2. Pray that Mom will be able to endure another grueling round of chemo and still have strength left to enjoy the upcoming Christmas festivities.

3. Pray that Mom's side effects from the chemo will be minimal and that the tumors will continue to steadily shrink.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, MOM AND DAD!